sham tofu
Tofu reminds me of cellulite
Or a guy’s Budweiser gut hanging over his pants
Tofu is a co-dependent tasteshifting
A vegan avatar for unsuspecting beans
Pretending to be something it is not
Mooching off the kindness of food that tastes
Hiding in plain sight
Sucking the smell out of anything it rubs up against.

You must mean Dunlap's Disease, i.e. my belly done-lapped over my belt.